Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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