You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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