I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize