I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
