The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
