I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
