i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
