i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
