I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Are we still banned from the library?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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