I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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