so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
