He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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