I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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