so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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