Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
