i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
