I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm passing your future prison.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
