Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
