I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
