Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
this is an emotional support booty call
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
