When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize