I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
