Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize