Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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