she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
