Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
