the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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