I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
