I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
