dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
