All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He kissed a someone with a penis
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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