I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
