We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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