i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
