So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize