she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
