is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
