it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
