so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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