she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
