I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
