census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
