Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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