It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize