he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
