yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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