Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
