I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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