Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
