i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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