I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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