So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got inside last night via doggy door
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
