I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
