You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize