I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize