he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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