the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
