Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
