she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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