If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
