Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
