In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
